Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
