glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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