But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
