There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
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