Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
