I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
