that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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