I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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