By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Randomize
