I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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