i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
You ate ashes out of my bong
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
