Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
You can't motorboat a personality
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
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