its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
