I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
