can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Randomize
