My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Are we still banned from the library?
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Randomize
