does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
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