Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
