Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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