that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
You were trust falling into bushes
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Randomize
