I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
