My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
