Well apparently he's into motor boating.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
where am i from again
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Randomize
