He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
