He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
