we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Randomize
