I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
