i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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