So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
