Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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