WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
