Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
