Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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