do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
