i don't plan on having that self control this summer
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Randomize
