Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Randomize
