The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Your cock deserves a montage
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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