I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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