Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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