she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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