I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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