I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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