and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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