And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
my liver is dry heaving
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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