well you can't waste a boner
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Randomize
