great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
