Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
