Don't you send me to vm
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Mom said you looked used
We left the knife in your bed.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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