He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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