Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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