it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
