Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I'm sobbing to NWA
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
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