This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
there's paper in my vomit.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
